Because, as most people say, “love is blind,”

Because, as most people say, “love is blind,” it’s quite hard to choose whom you fall in love with and that’s why you should learn a few things about how to avoid getting romantically involved with the wrong person. That way, you won’t get your heart broken. I know you might be tempted to say that sometimes there's just nothing you can do and that one can’t simply avoid falling in love with a certain person who might ultimately make them unhappy. Even though we can’t always control our emotions, we can still control our thoughts and our actions and we can prevent certain mistakes from happening, mistakes we might regret later. Here is what you should know about how to avoid getting romantically involved with someone that is simply not good for you and who could really break your heart.

1. LOVE YOURSELF

One of the most important things you can do if you want to learn how to avoid getting romantically involved with the wrong person is, of course, to learn how to always love yourself. Embrace who you are and try to know yourself much better. You are the most important person in your life and your happiness should always come first. Don’t put other people’s needs before your own and accept yourself just the way you are.

2. DON’T BE AFRAID OF BEING SINGLE

Even if you’re not seeing anyone at the moment, you shouldn’t think that you’ll never meet your Prince Charming. You never know, your true love might be just around the corner waiting to meet you. By always feeling alone, you’ll become more vulnerable and you’ll be easy “prey” for the people who are not interested in having a serious relationship. So, take care of yourself and protect your feelings from getting hurt by being patient, by waiting for the right person and by never settling for less.

3. DO YOUR HOMEWORK

I know it may sound a bit paranoid, but there’s nothing wrong with taking care of yourself. That’s why I recommend you to do your homework and check if the things your new love has told you about himself or herself are in fact true. You could even check criminal records and you can do it very easily on the internet. After all, you never know who you’re going to meet and there are a few people out there who are brilliant con artists. It’s always better to protect yourself from getting hurt than to regret later that you didn’t do anything to prevent it.

4. DON’T FALL FOR THE SWEET TALK

If a person really likes you and really wants to be with you, then you should make them prove it to you. Don’t fall for the sweet talk! It’s always easy to say a lot of things you don’t really mean, but someone who is being honest will do anything in their power to make you believe that what they are saying is true and that their intentions are very serious. Be wise and cautious and don’t believe everything you hear!

5. TAKE YOUR TIME

Don’t hurry love! Take your time to know each other better and decide if he or she is the one for you after you’ve discovered both their qualities and their flaws. You might not be able to really know your partner in the beginning of your relationship because they will be trying to impress you, so wait a little bit in order to see their true colors.

6. LISTEN TO YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY

One of the best ways to avoid getting romantically involved with the wrong person is by always listening to your friends and family. After all, they are the most important people in your life and their opinions should matter to you. Maybe you are blinded by your feelings and you are not able to see your partner as they really are. Remember: your loved ones are only trying to protect you and they want to see you happy, so you should always take their opinion into consideration.

7. YOU DESERVE THE BEST

You should never settle for less in your love life because you are afraid you might not meet someone that will truly deserve you. You deserve the best and your happiness should be the most important thing in the world for you. Don’t make bad compromises that might get you hurt later! Pay attention to whom you entrust your love and make sure they truly deserve you. Don’t waste your time on the wrong people and “if something doesn't feel right, odds are it most likely won’t be.”

Sometimes it’s really hard to decide whom you’ll fall in love with but it’s not impossible. If you’re not taking care of your feelings, then no one else...

~ pearl

“You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.”

“You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.” ~Jon Kabat-Zinn

A lot of couples see conflict as a time to bail—either because they were already looking for a way out or because they freak out and feel threatened. When our ego feels threatened, it activates our flight or fight response. Sometimes it may be hard to get resolution on a conflict, making matters worse.

Instead of seeing conflict as a threat to a relationship, what if we reframed this and saw conflict as an opportunity and a sign of growth in a relationship?

This requires understanding that conflict will inevitably occur in a close relationship. The only way of getting around it is to not share your opinion at all, which is not healthy.

So what if we focused on sharing our opinions in a way that is productive?

To do this: 

1. Remember not to sweat the small stuff.

Instead of making every little molehill a mountain, agree to not make something a battle unless it’s truly important. Realize that not every disagreement needs to be an argument. Of course, this doesn’t mean you bow to someone else’s demands when it’s something you feel strongly about, but take the time to question the level of importance of the matter at hand.

2. Practice acceptance.

If you find yourself in the midst of a conflict, try to remember that the other person is coming into the situation with a totally different background and set of experiences than yourself. You have not been in this person’s shoes, and while it may help to try to put yourself in them, your partner is the only person who can really explain where he or she is coming from.

3. Exercise patience.

Granted, it’s hard to remember this in the heat of the moment. But, stopping to take a few deep breaths, and deciding to take a break and revisit the discussion when tensions are not as high can sometimes be the best way to deal with the immediate situation.

4. Lower your expectations.

This is not to say you should have low expectations but it is to say that you should keep in mind you may have different expectations. The best way to clarify this is to ask what another’s expectations are in a scenario. Again, don’t automatically assume that you come into the situation with the same expectations.

But what if you are in the heat of a conflict and you don’t seem to be doing anything other than polarizing each other?

5. Remember you both desire harmony.

Most likely, you both want to get back on track and have a peaceful relationship. Also remember the feeling of connectedness that you want to feel. It’s hard to feel threatened by someone when you see yourselves as interconnected and working towards the same result.

6. Focus on the behavior of the person and not their personal characteristics.

Personal attacks can be far more damaging and long-lasting. Talk about what behavior upset you instead of what is “wrong” with someone’s personality.

7. Clarify what the person meant by their action, instead of what you perceived their action to mean.

Most of the time, your partner is not deliberating trying to hurt you, and getting hurt happened to be a byproduct of that action.

8. Keep in mind your objective is to solve the problem, rather than win the fight.

Resist the urge to be contrary just for that reason. Remember that it’s better to be happy than right!

9. Accept the other person’s response.

Once you have shared your feelings as to what a person’s actions meant to you, accept their responses. If they tell you the intended meaning of their action was not as you received it, take that as face value.

10. Leave it in the past.

Once you’ve both had the opportunity to share your side, mutually agree to let it go. Best case scenario, your discussion will end in a mutually satisfactory way. If it doesn’t, you may choose to revisit it later. When making this decision, ask yoursel how important it is to you. If you make the lb kdecision to leave it in the past, do your best to do that, rather than bringing it up again in future conflicts.

Conflict can be distressing. If you see it as an opportunity for growth, it can help you become closer and deepen your relationship.